Dating a man 20 years older than me

We worked in the same profession, had similar interests, and shared common philosophical views. So what if he was wrinkly, in all the places you might expect? There was zero jealousy on both sides, and I never saw him check out another woman -- due to him being satisfied, of course, but also him being well-seasoned in how to respect the opposite sex. Another lesson in dating: a fling with someone in your professional/personal circle is more often than not bad news. I have a friend who’s been married to someone for more than a decade who is 20 years older than her.

I grew up the only child of older parents (who are also 10 years apart), and often felt like an awkward old lady trapped inside a teeny-bopper’s body. I admit, I wasn’t as physically attracted to him as I had been to other partners. Have you ever seen a girl with a hideous boyfriend and thought, “Seriously, how the f$*k did he pull that off? Either he's just a nice friggin’ dude; or being with him boosts her self-confidence. In my case, the age gap was actually a cavernous black hole defying space and time. He’s old and sick now, and she takes care of him (even financially), but she’s still partying and sleeping around. I sometimes imagine what would have happened if I had stayed with my older man.

Woman B: I rented a flat in the backyard of his then-girlfriend. But I knew he was probably 10 years older than me and that was a little bit of the attraction, because I thought that he would be older and more settled with none of the bullshit that you have in your 20s.

That was my experience from dating a much older man.

While you figure out the math, let me be clear that I’ve met several other women in their early- to mid-20s who also prefer to date from a much older pool for various reasons.

And while cliché dictates that, sure, men are into it, there’s been some recent research done about younger females often gravitate toward mature men.

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), but the benefits can certainly outweigh those little things.

Because he had a reluctance to grow up, he wanted to stay young in as many ways as possible.

The next time we ran into each other was when I went to interview for a job in the ski resort's lift department, which he happened to be in charge of. I think he can't really find a woman to keep up with him, even in his own age group. The man I dated was essentially an 18-year-old himself when it came to maturity.

Woman A: The longest lasting of these relationships started when I was 18 and he was 40. However, we didn't start dating until I was 18 and he was 36. They split up around 2009 and I didn't hear from him for 18 months. Do you think your age was part of the attraction for him?

Woman B: Twenty-seven and he recently turned 42 (we're still together). We discovered we had a lot of interests in common and became good friends. Most of the men I dated more casually at the time were in their 30s. It also made me feel special — this man seemed so much more worldly than the men my age, and the fact that he was interested in me seemed too good to be true. Woman D: Originally I think I was flattered that somebody who had experienced so much of life was interested in me.

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